I’m not sure whether either Arsenal or the player have heard, but the former is apparently linked with a move for the latter. Frankly, if I’m being honest, I want nothing to do with Brazilian midfielder Bruno Guimarães even if Newcastle have given him permission to seek a move to a club that’s qualified for next season’s Champions League. The only reason I could think of to justify the move is that he’d longer be able to maim our players during matches. Then again, he might end up doing it during training. Let’s put on some hip-waders and get into the muck…
While I’m well-familiar with the conversion a c*nt like Guimarães would undergo after joining us—he’d no longer be one, he’d be a savvy master of the dark arts—we’re building a top-class squad full of eminently likable players, many of whom have shown themselves to be savvy enough already and can pull it off without becoming pantomine villains or buffoons. For myself, I have a long if not entirely consistent history of disavowing interest in Guimarães, who will seemingly bend and break just about any rule they’re aware of to give their club an advantage or their opponent an injury. Consider my long-running opposition to Luis Suárez, who always seemed like he was moments away from mistaking another opponent for a kebab.
On a less-principled level, let’s admit that, at Arsenal, he’d never get away with most of what he gets away with Newcastle. Even under the more-favourable treatment he gets at Newcastle, he’s been booked 14 times in 44 matches across four competitions. Were to feature for us, he’d almost surely get five bookings from our first 19 matches; incurring a one-match ban; 10 bookings from our first 32 Premier League matches, incurring a two-match ban during the run-in; and perhaps a three-match ban for being booked 15 times. Let’s not consider red cards and how he might be self-aware enough to know how to use those to circumvent the yellow-card suspensions.
Back to a somewhat more-principled point, there’s “dark arts” and there’s downright dirty. Guimarães is more of the down-and-dirty, dastardly derivation. In our squad, we have the likes of Havertz, White, and Rice who know the difference between a tactical foul and a felony, sh+thousery and shamefulness. Those three can play with a chip on their shoulder. Guimarães is more likely to dislocate someone’s shoulder.
As if all of this were not enough, there are the finances to consider. Newcastle are apparently willing to entertain offers of somewhat less than his £100m release clause. Even if the going rate for overhyped defensive midfielders has cooled somewhat, it’s hard to see Newcastle strengthening us (it could be argued that Guimarães would strengthen us, at least in the matches he’s not suspended for). For ourselves, early reports suggest that we’ll have £200m to spend this summer, but we have enough other priorities to suggest that we probably should not spend half of that on one position. We might be wiser to find depth at other positions. I’ve suggested recently that Kai Havertz can play striker, and we may need a DM if Partey can’t stay fit. We could use someone to deputise from time to time for Saka,
In the end, then, let’s hope that this rumour is mindless folderol. I seriously doubt that either Edu or Arteta are even aware of, much less considering, Newcastle’s apparent desire to sell. They have FFP problems of their own, but if they want to sell players, let’s have them offer us Isak.
Enough wallowing. We have a match to prepare for.
Nope. Not a chance. Bruno G is a rogue. Reptilian-brained. No system can restrain him. Let Bruno go to another league to ply his misbehavior– as I can’t see him moving to City, Pool or Villa either (though Sp*rs would surely have him as a shiny bauble).
Let’s find a few more multifaceted types, to augment an already solid and maturing young team of likeables.
Ooh, I like the reptilian-brained remark. I agree that top-shelf sides would probably steer clear of him. If he were good enough to elevate any of our rivals, that would be one thing. I could see Tottenham going for him if only to claim that they somehow pipped us, only to learn that he’s not on a level to elevate them any higher.
good grief give me some of what your smoking. ask yourself why is bruno g the most fouled player in the prem and whilst your thinking of an excuse consider this.he is certainly not a dirty player nor is he as skilled in the dark arts as you mentioned what he is is a world class mid player that would be a upgrade to any team in the prem.
why leave the most exciting project in the prem to become a member of one of the sceptic 6 super league wanabees self righteous hard done to clubs. after man u and liv-var-pool the gunners are the next hated club in the prem.changing all the rules to hold newcastle back well its coming no matter how hard the sceptic 6 try to de-rail the toon. by the way bruno just bought a swanky new house so i think he intends to stay he aint moved into it yet its that new.as for isak dream on
no worries though if your worried about how to deal with eddie howes mags simply text MAGS ABUSE TO 1892. sleep well gooner
Hi, Gary, and thanks for popping in. I’d like to thank you for sharing your thoughts, but they’re more than a bit of a muddle. It’s tough to make heads or tails of your rant aside from “Newcastle= good, Arsenal= bad.”
For the record, it’s Jordan Ayew who’s the most-fouled player in the Prem, 65 to Bruno’s 53. What’s more, Ayew’s played 100 fewer minutes and in a position from which he gets far-fewer touches than someone playing in the middle of the pitch.
I don’t doubt that Bruno is a very, very good player (he’s not world-class but could soon be). His disciplinary troubles do suggest that he struggles to play within the letter of the law. He’d be an upgrade to Tottenham, Man U, West Ham or Chelsea, but there’s no way he’d be an upgrade to Man City or Liverpool. He might be an upgrade to Arsenal but only if two of Rice, Partey, and Jorginho were to leave.
I’m glad we can agree on one thing. Bruno can stay at Newcastle (as if people earning 160k/wk have to worry about buying and selling real estate. They do it the way you or I might buy a pair of shoes).
What a bunch of idiots. You are clueless if you don’t rate a player like Bruno G. To be honest he wouldn’t be interested in a move to the Gooners, the Premier Leagues biggest chokers lol.
Hey, I admit that he’s a good player. I just don’t think he’s worth the risk given his temperament and our reputation for being dirty enough already.
Overprotective Newkies😂. I’ve been reading this rumour for a while now and don’t think it has legs really (like some of his victims), what would Howe do without his very own Mr Nasty? So sleep easy both sets of supporters. But I do believe the stories about Isak, and think we’re in with a good chance, and if we want him he’s ours.
Newcastle fans, eh? The best on the league…… LMFAO
Well, I´ve always regretted selling Emi Martinez as hes somewhat a bastard and all good teams need that. We´re a bunch well mannered schoolbys with exception of Benny Blanco.
If we get BrunoG (and maybe his brother AliG) then we get some of that mastery of drak arts&get in other players head. I think that would be good.