There are few conspiracies as baked in as the infamous anti-Arsenal bias of Mike Dean. With news of his retirement, I thought it would be well worth revisiting whether or not this Dean was as ever as bad as we assumed. It all started, apparently, on one august day in August at Old Trafford. Blame a water bottle. Blame Lee Probert. Maybe, just maybe, don’t blame Mike Dean. Hear me out.
Continue reading
The thing about bullies is that they usually shrivel up and blow away once you stand up to him. Usually. It’s what that in mind that we travel back in time to what was going through what passes for Diego Costa’s mind when he head-butted Ben Mee in stoppage time of Wolves’ 1-1 draw with Brentfod, earning himself a three-match suspension, a suspension that coincides nicely with Saturday’s match against Arsenal. In the pseudo-sentient tapioca that swirls around between those ears, somewhere there arose the realisation for Costa that he wouldn’t be facing Gabriel Paulista; he’d be facing Gabriel Magalhães—and that tapioca decided to get sent off rather than get embarrassed for however long he’d have lasted against us on Saturday.
What other logic can be applied to a decision to get sent off in the waning moments of a match in which you’ve had next to no impact? I’m not saying I can read Costa’s mind (tapioca is famously difficult to read, after all), but even single-celled protozoans respond to stimulus, and it’s not much a stretch to suggest that however many cells reside in Costa’s cranium had thought threw what it will be like to have to face Big Gabi and Saliba. This is a man who earned his very first red card in the Prem after 95 appearances. That’s either the law of averages finally kicking in, or maybe it’s something else. In any event, he won’t be available. More’s the pity.
I would have much preferred he be available. Something tells me that a 34 year old who is still working his way back to match-fitness while also fading from relevance would struggle mightily against a defense as well-organised and robust as ours. Monreal and Mertesacker may inspire fond memories, but neither they nor Holding are up to the standards that our current centre-backs have already reached. Even before his suspension, he had done literally nothing to improve Wolves’ woeful scoring record, scoring no goals in his six appearances. Wolves have scored just eight goals in 14 matches and will likely continue to struggle without “talisman” Raúl Jiménez unavailable, along with Pedro Neto. New manager Julen Lopetegui will watch from the stands as caretaker manager Steve Davis tries to guide his side to some kind of result.
A potentially bigger obstacle to our success than whoever plays for Wolves is the referee: Stuart Attwell. If that name doesn’t angry up the club, maybe the one on VAR will: Mike Dean. Between the two, it’s hard to determine which is the more-incompetent or the least-biased. As long as we take the match to our hosts quickly and score a couple of early goals, we can eliminate or at least minimize their ability to inflict any misery upon us. With this as the last match before the international break, it’s a great chance to stay atop the table for the better part of the next six weeks. Let’s hope it’s not Wolves who have their tails up.
Prediction: Wolves 0-3 Arsenal. Goals from Jesus, Saka, and Big Gabi.
Share your thoughts below the fold!
One last plug: I’m pleased to share that I’m now #32 on Feedspot’s Top 70 Arsenal Blogs. Thanks for helping to make that happen with your visits and comments!
 |
| “No, Dec. Please. We’re wasting valuable time.” |
Okay, okay, so that might be a touch hyperbolic and more than a smidge hasty. After all, Haaland hasn’t played a single minute in the Prem so there’s just no knowing if he could do what he’s done on a cold, night at the Britannia Stadium. Considering that Stoke are mid-table in the Championship right now, he may never get a chance to prove that old cliche wrong. I don’t know why I brought it up other than that it feels good to type “Stoke are mid-table in the Championship”. Let’s get back to why I brought you all here, though. Eddie Nketiah put on his best performance of his young career against West Ham on Sunday. While he didn’t score any goals, we’ve grown accustomed to that sort of thing around here. He did put four shots on target, and that, my fellow Gooners, allowed the 22-year old to clear a very low bar.
Let’s get the delicious part of the way first. With West Ham desperately chasing an equaliser, Nketiah managed to wind up half of their squad by doing…nothing, really. For a full 20 seconds, Cresswell, Fornals, and others mobbed around Nketiah, who stayed as cool as a cucumber. Then, once it was all apparently sorted, Declan Arroz popped up to…waste more time jawing. Nketiah was not impressed, nor did he seem intimidated in the least, and Rice ended up looking like a right bellend for his efforts. An unbooked bellend, but a bellend all the same.
Back to the match itself, Nketiah played really rather well. He pressed, he dropped deep, he found spaces between the lines, he made runs, he—get this—took shots from outside the 18! They were well-taken shots, too, placed just inches from that sweet spot beyond the keeper’s reach but still inside the post. If it weren’t for special agent Fabiański making several vital saves to keep up appearances and maintain plausible deniability, Nketiah might very well have had a hat trick. One shot, one that he did put just wide, was so close to finding the back of the net that Fabiański himself struck that classic keeper pose of staying rooted to the spot, dropping his hands to his sides, and watching ruefully. Pity that there wasn’t just a touch more curl to it.
It was his driving run and crisp shot that Fabiański could barely push wide that led to the corner that led to the first Prem goal of Rob Holding’s career (good thing he got that new hairline—created just enough friction to steer the ball in. A balder Holdinho might have seen that ball sluice straight out of bounds).
Probably the most-scintillating moment was in the 72nd minute when, seeing Eleny collect the ball and dribble forward, Nketiah singled to Elneny and started off on a run. Elneny’s pass inch-perfect, and Zouma, whom Nketiah terrorised all afternoon, had to watch the player outrun him on his left while the pass zipped past on his right. In the end, the shot was wide, but it was still an exciting moment of the kid’s potential. Another exciting moment, although it fizzled out spectacularly, came deep into stoppage time. Nketiah found himself with the ball at his feet about 15 yards from. A more-impetuous player might have tried to force a shot. Instead, Nketiah laid the ball off for Lokonga, who promptly sent a souvenir into the cheap seats. Despite the outcome, it was still the right move.
Now, again, I’m not here claiming that we should refuse Haaland’s overtures. We just don’t want to appear needy in our flirtations. All I’m suggesting is that our Eddie put in a strong performance, the kind that, should he start to repeat, might just warrant a new contract offer. At 22, there is still plenty of time for the lad to grow. In a few years’ time, he may even be good enough to start. In the meantime, though, if we have to settle for the likes of Haaland, well, we could do worse than that.
The Wicked Witch of Mirral is…retiring. It’s true. Mike Dean, long the bane of Arsenal fans as well as those who believe in fundamental human decency and calling one’s grandmum every Sunday, is calling it quits after 22 years of impunity, incompetence, and, let’s face it, good old-fashioned bias. I wish I could say that the news is all sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows, but the dark lord may very well end up with his Machiavellian machinations from behind the curtain as a “permanent” VAR official—with that adjective sure to chill the blood of any who (like yours truly) are convinced that he is an honorary member of the Nazgûl and will haunt the Arsenal for eternity.
So, we’re one-fifth of the way through the Prem season, and Arsenal now sit 12th, behind the likes of Brighton, Everton, West Ham, Brentford, and Wolves. Nicking a draw at home after surging to an early lead against the likes of a Palace side shorn of Zaha will feel like two points dropped rather than one earned—and let’s not dredge up the tiresome “should Arsenal have appointed Vieira over Arteta” debate yet again; the jury’s going to be out on that for some time—instead, let’s look at the fact that we’re underperforming. That’s both the good news and the bad news. This is perhaps what it feels like to get a flywheel moving: slow, undetectable progress at first, followed (it is hoped) by a sudden, strong surge forward.
The early returns were promising. We started strong against Palace, dominating the first 20 minutes or so with a well-deserved goal through Aubemayang finishing off a cross in from Pépé. From there, it looked like we might have a bit of a cakewalk. Unfortunately, Arsenal being Arsenal, we caved. First, Thomas was dispossessed in a manner not unlike Vieira being dispossesed when he faced off against his former club, Palace hitting hard on a counter with Benteke slotting past Ramsdale and again twenty minutes later, this time with Lokonga being guilty and Edouard blasting it right over Ramsdale to seize the lead. Why Lokonga was even on the pitch is an open question, given that he came on to replace the injured Saka, who was scythed down in brutal fashion by James McArthur, who kicked through Saka’s planted right foot after his left had cleared the ball. How McArthur was allowed to stay on the pitch can be summed up in just two words: Mike Dean.
Still, when you only score one goal, you leave yourself open to the referee’s pecadilloes and your opponent’s predations. Had our optimistically offensive attacking formation—featuring Aubameyang, Pépé, Saka, and Ødegaard ahead of Partey in midfield—risen to the occasion, we would have breezed past Palace and risen to ninth in the table, just two points from fourth. Such are the vicissitudes of early-season table-watching. We’re clearly right about where we should be after eight matches and about 30 minutes of quality play, 20 of those against a thoroughly discombobulated Tottenham side and about 10 against Palace. This result splits the difference between #ArtetaIn and #VieiraIn, perhaps with a slight tilt toward the latter.
Then again, to be perhaps overly optimistic, we were two individal errors from a comfortable victory. That it took those two errors for our inspired visitors to seize the lead is worth noting. Once Lacazette came on for the ineffective Ødegaard and Martinelli replaced Thomas, we looked much more incisive, direct, and determined. Lacazette has now scored five goals as a substitute since Boxing Day 2019 (since Arteta took the reigns), with three of those changing the outcome. Twice, he’s found the winner, and on Monday, he salvaged a draw.
Not nearly good enough for our aspirations or our investments (emotional, financial, or otherwise), but enough to inspire something along the lines of clenched-jaw determination. Arteta clearly has his work cut out for him. “Trust the process” can only keep the critics at bay for so long. We have three eminently winnable matches coming up: a visit from Villa (and Leeds in the League Cup) with a visit to Leicester and then home to Watford. Anything less than six points from those nine as well as progress in the Cup would signify serious, serious problems for the current campaign. Let’s hope that we arrive at Anfield in mid-November on a run of form that quiets these nagging doubts…