Is there any player Arteta can’t redeem, repair, or rejuvenate?

Okay, yes, so we bested Bournemouth, but, after all, we were expected to win at home against a side, that despite its best return on a Prem season in club history, still could finish in the bottom half. Credit to Bournemouth, though—they play positive, aggressive football. What’s more, they have reason enough to believe that the scoreline flattered us. That said, though, the real reason we’r here is to stand (or sit) in slack-jawed astonishment at the degree to which players are resurrected or at least redefined. I’m speaking specifically of Kai Havertz but also of Declan Rice.

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Cherry-poppin’ daddies, or how to beat Bournemouth

Say what you will about Bournemouth, who sit quite comfortable in 10th with ostensibly nothing to play for—well-safe from relegation, no realistic chance at European competitions. One might assume that they have one foot on the proverbial beach already, but one would only do so by also looking past their form of late. Over the last six fixtures, their form sees them in fourth behind only us, Man City, and Newcastle. Yes, there have been a few cakewalks in there, but we’d be mistaken were we to assume that we could pop these Cherries.

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What would it take for Arsenal to prise this Ghanaian wunderkid away from their London rivals?

With the emergence of Kai Havertz as a false-nine-ish kind of forward, Arsenal might turn its attention to reinforcing other areas, namely, that right wing. While we have a plethora of options on the left—Martinelli, Trossard, Jesus, even Nelson—we have a dire shortage of options in the right—Saka. That’s…that’s about it. For as much as we rely on Saka, it’s rather remarkable (some might call it derelict) that we don’t have anyone to turn to to give our precious starboy a rest without suffering a dramatic decline. While we could see Martinelli, Trossard, Nelson, or Vieira played on that right wing, it’s clear that we need someone whose natural position hews closer to the role that Saka plays.

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Arsenal are ready to jettison Jesus for this clinical, all-everything German “striker”…

When we signed Gabriel Jesus, the feeling was that we’d found a vital, polished stirker who could find the back of the net 20-25 times per season while adding title-winning experience to a callow, naïve side. That hasn’t quite come to pass. Maybe that’s down to the injuries the Brazilian has suffered since his arrival. Maybe that’s down to something deeper—there had been doubts about his finishing since his time at Man City. Now, amidst rumours that we might entertain offers, attention turns to an increasingly prolific, even-clinical attacker who’s scored or assisted in eight of his last 11 starts.

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Why Rice rejected a chance to play alongside Rodri…

It’s hard to remember, given all that’s gone on this season, but there was a time when it looked far more likely for Declan Rice to end up at Man City than at Arsenal. Gooners, of course, carry no small amount of PTSD when it comes to pursuing players only to see oil-rich megaclubs wave a fatter fee, wage-packet, and guaranteed silverware under our targets’ noses (or, in the case of Mudryk, at least two of the three). As we inched closer to signing Declan Rice from West Ham, I’m sure we all suffered a gnawing fear that Man City would lure him away at the last second. He didn’t…but why?

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