Tag Archives: Gabriel Jesus

Take that, Yanited! Arsenal pulled off an almost-perfect performance!

By perfect, I refer not to the quality of our play but to the dramatic elements of it. Conceding against the run of play only to equalise 35 seconds later, letting Garnacho through on goal only to have it disallowed by his being offside at the molecular level, Rice scoring the dramatic winner and Jesus adding some sheen? Hollywood would have a hard time penning a more-perfect script.

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Arsenal 3-1 Man U: Vote for player-ratings & MOTM!

Those of you with cardiac conditions would do well to have avoided this one. That advice might come a little too late after Man U went ahead only to get pegged back by Ødegaard a mere 35 seconds later. It was a back-and-forth match but one in which we looked vibrant, dominating for long stretches but a bit too vulnerable to counterattacks. When Rice squeezed his shot in past Onana at 95:43, the latest winning goal in this fixture ever, it had to feel like destiny. For Jesus to add a glorious third? Priceless. Let’s get down to the post-match poll to give the lads what they deserve!

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A half-baked attempt at talking religiously about Jesus’s “resurrection” from injury…

Just as we thought Jesus had risen, putting in an effervescent shift in the 5-3 thrashiing of Barcelona, he was left out of the squad for Wednesday’s Emirates Cup clash with AS Monaco. Because his name is Jesus and he’s going to return soon, we’re obliged to discuss this in religious terms. Instead, let’s go with Michael Corleone, adapted ever so slighty: just when we thought he was in,…they pull him back out. To allay fears, Arteta said it was a “little procedure” to deal with what he called “some irritation.” Rest easy, Goonerland.

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It’s time to stop blaming the striker for Arsenal’s bottle-job…

This may or may not make sense later.

Okay, so he didn’t score enough goals. Maybe he didn’t live up to the hype. You might even say he went missing when we needed him most during the run-in. After all, we had one of our best chances at winning the Prem in years, and we fell short, collapsing at the very end right when it seemed the trophy was ours for the taking. Sure, key rivals like Liverpool and Chelsea were well off the pace, but, in the end, we can’t blame Olivier Giroud. Sorry for the wind-up. I’m looking back to the 2015-16 season, the last time Arsenal “bottled” it.

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Ødegaard at the døuble tø put Arsenal back øn tøp!

Chelsea put on their best Tottenham impression, conceding three goals in just over half an hour as Arsenal waltzed away to do the double over Chelsea for the second time in three years. Captain Martin Ødegaard and his loyal sidekick connected twice with the former captain finding the current one with two very similar passes into the box to Ødegaard, who cleverly eluded his (admittedly clueless) marks. Just like that, we’re back on top, there this time to say (no, not really).

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