It wasn’t supposed to be this way! It was supposed to be a thing of beauty, not this…this abomination! We spent £200m this summer for this, an embarrassing 1-1 drow to FC Nürnberg, who finished 14th in the Bundesliga—check that: the German second division. After all of that investment, such a setback can only lead to one outcome: the long-awaited sacking of Mikel “Pep’s Coneman” Arteta. He’s been exposed once and for all as a fraud, a chequebook manager, a dictator whose “tactics” consist of little more than “get it to Saka and inshallah“.
Indeed, were it not for a moment of inspiration from our so-called “Starboy”, we might have suffered an even more-ignominious result at the hands of ze Germans. Oh, I’m sure the Artetastans will trot out the same old excuses: it was just a preseason friendly. It takes time to integrate new players. Rice and Timber haven’t even been announced yet. He named an XI full of academy players. We have to “trust the process” (what—instead of the result?) Yada yada yada. I’ve heard it all too many times. It’s time to clean house and start fresh.
Speaking of fresh starts, I hope you’re still here because that was all just a bit of a piss-take (although I’m sure we could probably find an uncomfortably large contingent of fans who agreed at least in part or in principle with the preceding two paragraphs. It was after all a preseason friendly, we don’t have Rice or Timber available yet, fitness levels are low, and the second half saw all sorts of substitutions. Those seeking any meaningful take-aways should focus on the following instead of on the result.
Saliba!
Yes, William Saliba is back, playing for the first time since injuring his back back in March (yes, I struggled to avoid the doubling of “back”). He played a full 45 minutes—no mean feat after missing out on nearly four months out of action—and looked sharp. You might say he bullied anyone who came near him…but it was FC Nürnberg, after all. Still, it was a confident performance, and it’s great to see him staking strides towards being available for the start of the Prem. Don’t assume he’ll be starting from matchday one, though. I’d expect Arteta to ease him back gradually rather than rush him back capriciously.
Nwaneri!
The 16 year old looked sharpish, constantly seeking out the ball and making good decisions with it. Although hardly a reprise of Wilshere v. Barcelona (2011), it was n exciting performance for the youngster who just two weeks ago signed scholarship terms and will agree to a professional deal when he turns 17. At a risk of hyperbole, he looks like he might be ready for a few call-ups for the upcoming season, depending on who we get drawn with for the Champions League group stage and in the League Cup. If it were a simple matter of skill, I’d press the pause button on the hype-train. However, he seems alert and insightful as well.
Balogun!
Flo continues to make his case for first-team action (be it here or elsewhere…). He twice struck woodwork, once from a very tight angle after an unselfish pass from Jesus and, in the waning minutes, beat the offside trap to run onto sumptuous ball in behind from Lewis-Skelly and rounded the keeper only to clip his shot into the side-netting. This may not offer compelling evidence of his readiness to do on a cold, rainy night in Stoke what he’d done in Ligue 1 for Reims, but it was intriguing to see him in the proper strip nonetheless. He linked up well with players he’d never played with and looked just as good if not better than Nketiah.
Um, Havertz.
Yes, it was exciting to see our only official signing make his debut, but his performance didn’t quite earn an exclamation point. More’s the pity. There’s not much in it to analyse, to be honest, given that he was sent on amidst a hodge-podge of academy players and fringey deadwood. What might be more interesting is his post-match comments, in which he talked about watching Arsenal from the outside and admiring its energy; he talked about how it “looked like a big family” and he could feel “the togetherness of the players” and after only a couple of days feels “already as a part of the group”, and that’s some interesting insight into the culture Arteta has built over the last few seasons. I’m sure we’ll be seeing more from Havertz in coming weeks and months.
Well, that’s enough for now, I suppose. It was after all a preseason friendly without anything at stake other than to get some runouts and to find some fitness. It was nice to write about an actual match at any level, and we’ll have the match against the MLS All -Stars on Thursday next week. Maybe there’ll be some actual Timber or Rice news between now and then…
I thought this was gonna be funny………………………………………………. i suggest leaving the keyboard alone… try zanex
I had to hear that this wasn’t quite your cup of tea. Thanks for stopping by, and maybe I’ll try this “Zanex” you suggest. I do hope it will improve my spelling…
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Pfcy15ZUE2c
Jon’s humour might be more of an acquired taste, it’s not likely to make you laugh out loud, sure, but it’ll put a wry grin on your face more often than not.
Jon, decent takeaways from a glorified scrimmage. Might of been nice to see what could of been gleaned from the Watford match of a few days ago.
Thought I was reading a le-grove post from the Wenger out past at first loo
haha, I’m not sure I can reach LeGrove’s level.I worry that they would get too pessimistic at times. They’ve been around for far longer than I have. Still, I’ll take the comparison as a compliment.
Question(s): Given that most PL or even Arsenal contracts are relatively standard and probably contain the same clauses and terms, the only real differences would be the names, payment amounts and terms (when and how much each time), and any buyback or payments if sold after. Much of that is identified when the agreements are reached and would already be in writing, even if on a napkin (or even a nappies). Why then, if one is to believe the talk, are Arsenal’s attorneys still having difficulty in producing a final agreement (or providing one that encompasses the agreed upon terms)? Have they all gone to Brighton or the Riviera? Is Arsenal stalling because the want WH to suffer having forced the Gunners to pay more than budgeted? Are they trying to sneak new and subtly concealed terms into the deal? Why risk alienating WH should we come calling in the future? Why delay if you wanted Rice to travel to the US?
WHU has paid Rice’s salary for two extra weeks– while he was on vacation?
Sounds like a solid reason to me. 😊
Made a mental note to skip directly to the third graph– when your headline’s clicky.
seems fair. keep me honest, though – as a frequent commenter, tell me if I overdo it. In future, I’ll try to limit the lede to the first paragraph only.
Jurrien Timber just confirmed on the .com
Just saw that! I think their goal is to get his signing announced in time to announce Rice in time for the US tour (they fly out Sunday, so maybe they’ll give Rice his day before announcing Rice on Saturday…).
you know you do windows poorly when the official signing of a player like Timber goes relatively unnoticed, except for on the appropriate sporting news sites…I get it though, as it seems like this move was done and dusted some time ago, but our mishandling of key “branding” moments is a not so subtle reminder of just how hard it will be for us to really stake our claim in the world footballing landscape…hopefully this club will finally payback the gobs of undeserved loyalty they’ve received since the ribbon was cut by actually winning something of great import
welcome to the club Jurrien…may you wear the kit proudly and prove your worth always
I think the signing process has gotten more complicated with all of the social media elements, branding, image rights, etc., not to mention the now-customary leaks, agents, entourages, and other Rube Goldbergian elements. Add in this impending US tour, and you end up with complexity without intricacy. I believe Havertz’s signing ended up going similarly under the radar on a Friday. Whether that’s indicative of something wrong with the current braintrust’s approach of reflective of broader trends that are difficult to deal with is another question…
if you’re really honest with yourself, it’s far more an us thing than a them thing…we should stop providing excuses for incompetent behaviour as that’s how things went south in the first place, once Dein was removed from the equation and Wenger was left to his own devices…just saying
I do pine for the days when we had someone like Dein pulling strings…
on a bit of a side note, in regards to the Rice signing, one insider told Sky Sports “I’ve never known anything like this saga”…that pretty much sums it up
The next step in this Zeno’s paradox is West Ham’s announcement this morning, saying that Rice has left the club without saying anything about where he’s gone. It doesn’t look like Arsenal will have an announcement of its own for today…maybe…
Ha, don’t stop with the irony, it’s what makes your posts more entertaining than many of the others.
Can’t agree with the LeGrove bashing though. They are normally on point, and I think at least 80% of us had had enough of Wenger by the time he stood down. Yes he was fantastic, and yes, he turned us into the club we are today, but it felt like there was a severe lack of ambition in the last few years, (just my opinion).
I also had the pleasure of a few beers with Pedro and Geoff before a game or two back in the day, and they are proper decent blokes.
Andy—spot on with your Wenger long past his due date commentary, but your LG & Pedro “decent bloke” takes are way off base
Oh, that’s a shame you feel that way, I found him decent, but as I said, I only had a couple of beers with him and he seemed pleasant enough, but not everyone is everyone else’s cup of tea.
Back in ‘those days’ I found LG and Pedro unreadable.
These days– he’s done a 180°– and I’m a regular reader.
The comments there are a riot– almost literally.
Almost have to keep a scorecard to know who batters whom.
if by180 you mean someone who went from being an ardent and largely justified critic of the latter Wenger regime to a thirsty Arteta apologist who crafted his own little echo chamber, largely through the creation of a whole host of phantom posters and by summarily removing any dissenting voices from the room, then I would totally agree with your assessment…good luck with that
Is this some kind of therapy for you? Granted it’s cheap. Maybe you should spring for the professional kind.
why so personal?…I was just putting my own truth to words, so I’m not sure why a mental health jab was required…my comment wasn’t even about you…methinks I understand though, especially considering your obvious predilictions…have a good one
When I require your narrow-minded blinders applied to my views, I’ll let you know in writing. Till then, mind your own.
Now, now, lads – you play nice, you hear?
Jon-you’ve now been infiltrated by Pedro’s army of brainwashed simpletons…be wary as they’re well trained in the art of first impressions, but underneath that thin veneer something much more menacing exists…have a good one
Ha ha, I can’t do the comments on there! There is always someone who doesn’t know what they’re talking about and it really winds me up!!
I read but have decided against wading in. See a couple of names over there I’ve exchanged with elsewhere.
Here, I like Jon’s content/style and conversational replies.
Fair enough – I’ll go back and rephrase my LeGrove comment. No need to be snide after all. To be fair, even I finally reached my limit with Wenger by the end. In my mind, he should have probably stepped down after the second FA Cup in 2015.
Don’t change your posts on my account, everyone is entitled to their own opinions.
Spot on with your 2015 step down. It’s a shame because he has soured his excellent reputation with some people. He’ll always be a legend in my mind, it just got a bit monotonous.
“monotonous” is a bit generous, not that I want to go down this rabbit-hole too much further. I’ll join you in admitting that he’ll always be a legend in my mind as well!
Yes Jon, very generous to be fair.
When you’re paying around £100 for your ticket, £50 travel and £100 for food/ beer etc. it really pisses you off when you know you’re going to be disappointed before a ball has been kicked!!
These early preseason games are primarily to check out players and tactics. Winning while nice doesn’t mean much. This how the club knows who to keep, promote, sell or otherwise progress. If winning were the sole objective the first team would be in all the time and nothing would be learned. That’s why Watford and Nurnberg didn’t phase Arteta that much imo.
Exactly, reg. Sadly, though, you’ll always find a certain vocal minority that insists we’re supposed to go out and win every single match. There wasn’t even and Emirates Cup trophy attached to this. It was a chance to build fitness & chemistry for first-teamers and experience for Academy players, nothing more.